I haven't really wanted to talk about being the wife of a firefighter. In fact, I've given so many canned answers to the normal questions over the last year, that I've almost convinced myself that I'm really OK. But tonight I kind've feel like talking about it, so bear with me.

To start the story of Chris becoming a firefighter, you'd have to go back four years. Well, I guess if you're starting at the very beginning, you would go back to when he was a little boy and he was visiting his uncle at the fire station. Chris' uncle was a lieutenant and Chris thought he was the coolest uncle in the whole world.

I guess, for some other context, you would also have to know that Chris and I always talked about how we have the perfect careers for being together. Chris, a super-talented and hard-working brick layer, had the kind of job that could go anywhere. And I was the kind of girl that wanted to go everywhere. If I got a job in Maine, Colorado, California, New York, heck even Canada, then Chris could go there, be with me, and be a brick layer in Maine, Colorado, California, New York, or Canada. People everywhere need brick walls. It was the perfect set up. Me dreaming big and knowing that Chris would be there in my dream. Dreaming that if I wanted to just go somewhere and do something, that I could.

That plan was kind've working. I was working in publishing, working my way around the state. Books, magazines, food, health... I was working my way around the industry, making contacts, getting ideas. And Chris was there with me.

Somewhere in our five years of marriage, I learned to appreciate how Chris makes decisions. He makes them slooowly. This used to drive me nuts. I wondered what was wrong with my husband. Did he not have opinions? Did he not hear me? Well, it turns out Chris needs to think about things. He needs to think about how it could turn out and how it could be better. He needs to think about how to say something or when to say something. It's really quite special, you see. By taking it slowly and sorting things out, Chris tends to always make the best decisions. And, as his wife, that makes me feel happy and safe.

But then the phone rang.

Four years before the phone rang, Chris applied at the Waterloo fire station. We lived in the Waterloo area at that time. He passed all the tests, did all the interviews, and made it on The List. Four years have passed since then.

Meanwhile, I was still dreaming that dream. The List made me nervous. If anything, The List kicked my ambition into high gear. I couldn't see that I had a really good job for a 26-year-old. I mean, I had an office, with a door. I had even fired somebody. And you have to be somewhat important in order to fire somebody, right?

I was surrounded by friends. I was super involved at church. Life was ridiculously fun. But The List was making it hard to breathe. Maybe, I thought, if I could get a job in Canada, then The List would just go away. We didn't move to Canada, but we did move to Des Moines. I thought The List was gone for good. Before we moved, Chris applied at the fire station in Des Moines, and made it on Another List. But, with almost perfect timing, Another List never amounted to much. Des Moines put a hiring freeze on their fire department and had a bunch of layoffs right around the same time we moved here. I had dodged two lists, and I was still free. If not free to just move wherever I wanted, at least I was still free to dream about it.

But then the phone rang.

The phone rang on a Sunday night. We had already been in Des Moines for a year, and The List was four years in the past. I could tell that this wasn't a normal Sunday night phone call and I sat on the floor watching Chris' face, trying to figure out who it was, what was being said, what did that expression mean?

"It was the Waterloo fire department. They're offering me a job. And they need an answer by tomorrow."

That seemed a little drastic, even for me, who doesn't take time making decisions. For Chris, it was nearly impossible to sort things out. We stayed up all night. Writing out a list of pros and cons. We cried and I conjured up my best congratulations.

"They still remembered me. They said they really liked me and they have money to hire two guys. I'm at the top of The List."

We called my dad. He gave the advice that only a Dad can give. We weren't being naive, the decision seemed drastic even to my dad. Ask them for more time, he said.

They gave us more time. Four months. They were going to hire two more guys in four months. Chris will remain on the top of The List. They really liked him and they really wanted him, so they gave him four months.

The next week I sent my resume to Canada. I actually don't even know what it would be like to live in Canada. I would probably hate it. But I sent out a million resumes just because I was running from that darn List. I was selfish. I wanted Chris all to myself and it seemed like someone figured out how awesome he was and was trying to steal him from me. I sent out a million resumes as a last attempt at escaping the inevitable. I was going to be a firefighter's wife.

I already knew what it would be like. I would be alone. In fact, when I googled "life of a firefighter" all I could find were a bunch of websites about support groups for the wives of firefighters. "Sweetie, do you really want to take a job that comes with a recommendation for a support group for your wife?"

But the set-me-free resumes didn't completely fail. I got another job. It was the next step up in a publishing career that leads to who knows where. Funny thing is, the farther I work my way up, the farther away I get from an office with a door and the ability to fire someone. The companies just keep getting bigger, and despite a growing salary and growing responsibility, my role keeps feeling smaller. I'm a little hard-working gear in a big, big machine.

So here we were, Chris and me with job offers in two different cities. Now it was decision time. Who gives up on their dream?

Well, four months was almost enough time for Chris to make that kind of decision. Whenever someone heard the decision we were struggling with, they couldn't see the complexity of it all. "Way to go Chris!" "Wow, you'll be living every guy's dream!" "What's so hard about that decision? Just go for it!"

To be fair, Chris said he wouldn't take the job if I didn't want him to take it. To be completely unfair, Chris put the biggest decision of our lives in my hands. Who would ever tell their husband that, no, you can't be a firefighter because you're ruining my fantasy dream that someday we'll move to Colorado or Canada or Australia! Anywhere!

It's almost been a year since Chris took his job in Waterloo and I took my job at the big machine. Which means it's almost been a year of answering the same questions with a smile and a shrug.

I'm not sure whether it's because I'm feeling A) very honest or B) very alone, here are my real answers to the FAQs as of late.

Q. So, you live in different cities?
A. No, we work in different cities. We live in Des Moines. We have an apartment there and I work there. Chris drives to Waterloo every third morning and stays there for 24 hours.

Q. Do you like your time alone?
A. Not really. I tell people that I like the alone time so I can catch up on schoolwork. But, honestly, I would rather be catching up on schoolwork when Chris is sitting in the same room. I tell people that I don't really think about being alone because I'm so busy studying. But the truth is, I think about being alone a lot, in the middle of reading sentences about metabolism and nutrient deficiencies, in the middle of making a serves-one dinner, and in the middle of trying to fall asleep alone.

Q. Do you worry about Chris going in fires?
A. The honest truth is that I don't think about this. Chris has convinced me that his equipment will keep him safe in a fire, and I really, honestly believe that. What I don't tell people is that I worry about Chris driving as much as he does. He gets up every third morning at 4 a.m. to drive to Waterloo to stay at a fire station where he doesn't really sleep and then he drives back to Des Moines the next morning. So yes, I do worry about him driving while he's tired. And yes, I worry about the non-fire things he does, like pick up dead bodies. No one told us about the dead bodies.

Q. How are you doing?
A. People tend to ask me this question a lot lately, and they ask it in a tone that suggests I may not be OK. The truth is, I'm mourning a little bit. I'm mourning the life I always thought I would live, with the husband that would go with me anywhere, and the career that fulfills all my dreams. If you've already found your own happiness and peace in life, it may be easy for you to tell me that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. You don't need to tell me that. I'm working on it.

Q. Do you like being the wife of a firefighter?
A. No, I don't think I do. But I like being Chris' wife. And I like having a husband that is happy, and fulfilled, and proud of himself. And that's the honest, forever truth. 

We have an ornament tradition because we simply love traditions. Our ornament tradition is just one of our many holiday traditions, including but not limited to: changing Chris's name to Chris Kringle for the season; moving our little toy mouse one stocking every day in our cute little stocking advent calendar; watching Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer on TV and several times on DVD; finishing almost every December night with a hot cup of tea; and going to the Christmas Eve service with my family.

But one of the best traditions by far is the ornament tradition. Each year we buy a new ornament for our tree that represents the year completed. (click here for a refresher on past year's ornaments). These annual decorations are quite special and always receive special placement on the branches. So what ornament did we get to represent 2010? Well, some years are just so crazy that they deserve more than one ornament. So we got not one, not two, but THREE new beauties to remember 2010.

New Ornament #1

Chris and I both started new jobs in May, and for Chris it was an entire change of careers. Yes, 2010 was taking us on a new ride indeed. New Ornament #2

Back in September Chris arranged the most amazing day for us to hang out together, and it ended with a hot air balloon ride. This was definitely a highlight of the year!Click here to see photos from the hot air balloon ride.

New Ornament #3

And perhaps not so specific to 2010, but more to every year, is this new ornament of a turn-crank ice cream maker. Mom bought it for us in Kansas City, and it is just so special and will always remind me of my August birthdays. I LOVE IT!

Sometimes you just gotta do the ugly dance! - click here to let me dance with you. 

...so are the Summers of our Lives. My August literally blew away like those last few grains in a sand timer. We took off for RAGBRAI the last weekend in July and we haven't been home for a weekend since.

Here's a photo recap of all those weekends, mostly just for me, so I have documentation that they actually happened. Of course, we did a lot of fun things on weeknights, too, but I tend to remember my life by the weekends - and, really, who doesn't?

July 27-31: RAGBRAI
Stopping for a break in Parkerburg: Jake, Chris, Me, and Bob
Dipping our bikes in the Mississippi in Dubuque. From left: Katie, me, Caryl, Chris, JakeObviously Chris had more strength at the end than I did.

August 5-8: San Antonio for AADE
I went to San Antonio for a work trip to the annual meeting of diabetes educators. It was a great conference, and I even got to meet up with my college teammate and housemate, Robyn, and her bro Adam. Here we are on the Riverwalk tasting a flight of British brews.

August 14: To Waterloo for a friend's 30th birthday
Happy Birthday Joe! I have no photos,
but I did take advantage of all the ladies
at the party for my 100-calorie pack snack taste test.

August 20-22: Kuhl family reunion in Davenport
We had a fun family reunion weekend for my mom's side of the family, the cool Kuhls! We had a book discussion, dessert contest (I won 1st place for presentation!), family values q&a, and just plain ol' fun and catchin' up! August 27-29: My 30th birthday party in Clear Lake
We rented this pyramid-shaped house in Clear Lake. Not only was it shaped like a pyramid, but it had 6 bedrooms, 8 double beds, and 4 bathrooms, so everyone had a place to stay. My AWESOME friends Becca, Chris, Suzanne, Nick, Laura, Mike, Bob, Penny, Stacy, Kirk, Sarah, Tom, MK, John Conway, and Kevin made the trip. Thank you so much for celebrating my 30th birthday with me!This T-shirt was a gift from Suzanne. It says "Clear Lake: the Hamptons of Mason City." I LOVE it!

The Eckhoffs came to party! After boating all day, we danced the night away til 2 in the morning. One of my favorite memories from my 30th is looking out on the dance floor, watching all my homies dancing to Dynamite!

I wanna celebrate and live my life!

Sept. 3-6: Friend's wedding + Camping and boating in Iowa City
My friend Suzanne had the most beautiful evening wedding; ceremony and reception in an old fixed-up barn in Johnston.And the bride looked beautiful, too! Then we spent the rest of the weekend camping and boating at Lake Macbride, and cutting Matt's jeans shorter and shorter and...

 Good bye summer. I will miss you!

I turned 30 three weeks ago. I was feeling a little sorry for myself until I read this quote (You're only the age you are right now, right now.) and until I walked home that day to be greeted with these.

This bouquet of 30 pink, red, and white roses was absolutely stunning!

Then, Mr. 30 Roses himself took my hands and walked me over to the kitchen where our clothes hamper was standing with the lid from our recycling container on top of it. He told me to take off the lid and step back. I did. And this is what floated out.

It was so clever how Chris fashioned this helium balloon to look like a mini hot air balloon, complete with homemade paper basket!

As the balloon gently danced around our apartment, he told me we were going on our first hot air balloon ride!

Yesterday I took the day off work and we went for that ride. But not until after we had the best day, complete with a nice morning walk to Starbucks, a taco picnic in the park, and facials (yes, he even let me give him a pore-minimizing facial and he gave me one too - probably not something he would want the other firefighters to know, so don't tell them). Then, it was time for the flight. 

It was both scary and magical. We touched down on a lake (yes, we did!) and picked leaves off the tops of trees. We floated over houses and horses, deer and dogs, streets and creeks, herons and hawks. Our trip lasted about 46 minutes and we traveled almost 4 miles.

The pilot gently touched us down on this lake and then back up again!Our balloon shaddow

We got as high as 1,000 feet up. We flew right over these horses, and they didn't seem to mind. We couldn't have asked for better weather! We flew south of Des Moines, traveling west. We could barely see the downtown in the distance.The view was so beautiful! Mr. Shafer lending a hand as the balloon deflated. We landed in a ditch next to a country road. I'd say in was a semi-rough landing, but we survived.

And we even had a champagne toast at the end!